GROWING BOYS TO MANHOOD & MEN TO ELDERS
by Diane McCann
Can a Man give his Son what he himself never possessed or lacked the courage to wish up from his own deprivation? - Galway Kinnell
“In The Safety Of Men - Stories Of Becoming Real” a brilliant doco, gives insight into the modern movement taking place, and the fire that’s driving our return to our connected ancestry. In this video, men honour their spouses, children, families and one another for their struggles and visit the deep emotional barriers constructed to prevent men from feeling in the twentieth century Offering glimpses into lives of some of the leaders of this movement while they uncover authenticity and raw emotion. Also insights into the circles of men that are helping reshape our thinking about masculinity in a way that reveals a kinder, softer side to men where men can help advance compassion by learning from the wisdom of others in their support network and their shared life experiences. All of this is creating a safe space where men are becoming real again.
The distinction between male and female, soft and hard happens from the crib and while that is changing with the new babes coming onto the planet, for many of our men, this was their lot! Researchers dressed a baby in blue and people held it up in the air, chucked it under the chin, were harder with it than when they dressed the same baby in pink and people cooed at it and rocked it gently.
MALE stands for Men as Learners and Elders and yet our society holds mistakes as bad things when in truth they are the only way anyone ever learns… and up until now
Elders are not given the rightful respect they deserve.
Men appear to have plenty of everything - money, sex, power, education. But to a diverse group of men, the question of what it means to be a man is still perplexing.
Most men long for the support and nurture of other men to help in the journey toward masculinity, maturity, and a deeper experience of the divinity in each of us. To have a close friend who will call you on your “stuff” is not in realm of most men! Heartening to see men’s groups springing up all over the world offering men the opportunity to confront their past suffering, the losses in their life, both emotional, financial etc. to have a space where they can speak what they hold in their hearts and in the speaking of their innermost truths comes the ability to live with genuine wisdom and vision.
With wisdom comes the knowledge that parents did the best they could and even though it might not have been enough, it was all they had to give…. That to hold grudges, resentment, non forgiveness against the things of our childhood is to create a prison that actually shuts its doors, keeping us imprisoned forever…. That to speak of fears and pain is, in actuality, about being authentic… and that authenticity is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and our family…. That to cry and be vulnerable is not to be weak and a sissy but in fact is actually healing our past and allowing us to move forward into a new future…. That to share our innermost feelings with our family is to allow the sons of our future to feel safe with their Maleness.
With vision men can change the way the next generation of boy babies are treated; with vision we can see that boys need to be held and cuddled and listened to and encouraged to talk and have an opportunity to explore the creative soft or yin side of themselves as well as the yang side. In the letting go of how it was for past generations will create a new future for men where boys get mentored by caring, loving, nurturing males who speak from the heart and not from the gruff roughness of the past, allowing a new generation of MALEs to come forth willing to be all that they can be.
Diane McCann (The Goddess Within seminar) and Robert Mathews facilitate Man’s Inner Journey, a seminar for men and they also teach Tantra to couples. For more information call 08 82481281 or email firstname.lastname@example.org (www.beyondtheordinary.net.au)